Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me from Success: Rough Trade Book of the Year

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In a way, I admired her, because so many musicians plug away at the music business even after it has become intolerable and the results can be tragic. The band were fizzling when their sharp, wry drummer Chris Acland, to whom Berenyi was particularly close, suddenly took his own life in 1996, a denouement that still knocks the wind out of you even though you know it’s coming.

Berenyi saves much of her ire for the Britpop era, which saw an explosion of pent-up misogyny and attempts to exploit young women under the guise of empowerment, and women in the business were taken advantage of. Again, Berenyi revels in their more ridiculous moments; her account of the Lollapalooza tour in 1992 takes in exploding hotel sprinkler systems, a stage-dive that ended with her being passed, unconscious, over the crowd’s heads, and a cyclone in Long Island that blew a portion of the stage into the sea.Berenyi is particularly scathing about how lad culture successfully reframed sexism by putting it in jokey air quotes. Although written almost thirty years after the most tragic events in the author’s life, Fingers Crossed reads piercingly emotional and, as she admits, ‘visceral’. She tries very hard not to paint Chris as a ‘tragedy waiting to happen’ and concentrates on the talent, kindness and sense of humour of this very complicated man.

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Miki talks about Emma with incredible fondness and is never less than complimentary about her musicianship and song writing skills, but she doesn’t hold back from letting us know the things that bug her about her former band mate and the ways in which these contribute to the eventual dissolution of Lush. When the couple moved to Los Angeles, Berenyi opted to stay in London with Ivan, a Hungarian sports journalist, in their crumbling house in Willesden. Mostly, though, the two come across as the pioneers of memory: sisters-in-arms partaking of the fun on offer – Lollapalooza was bonkers – but refusing, as best they could, to do degrading photoshoots, fighting for their artistic vision in the face of music biz pressure. I don’t think I have ever read such a self-aware account of a person’s foibles, failings and habits anywhere, Berenyi is relentless when turning the spotlight on herself, which sometimes makes for uncomfortable reading but at the same time makes you love her for being her. Berenyi’s memoir is an engaging read that feels like she’s with you, discussing her life in real time, inviting you in to some immensely personal, witty and insightful observations on everything from difficult family situations to touring with Lollapalooza to Britpop.